Ask the Internet: Cookbook Contest! New Name for Husband-Elect?

Sweet readers! Today’s question is pretty self-centered, but what are blogs, if not digital representations of our desperate need for validation on a mass scale? Also, the winner gets a cookbook! Whee!

Q: A long, long time ago (37 days) in a galaxy far, far away (Lawn Guyland, Noo Yawk), I married a man of unparalleled awesomeness and beard-growing ability. Until that fateful evening, he was referred to on this blog as Husband-Elect. Now he has been … uh … sworn in (?) as my spouse, we need a new moniker.

What should we call The Artist Formerly Known as Husband-Elect?

A: Our favorite name will receive a copy of Giada De Laurentiis’ newest cookbook, Giada at Home: Family Recipes from Italy and California. (We went to Italy for our honeymoon, and I hear California is very nice, so it's kind of fitting.)

As always with these kinds of things, there are a few rules:

• Entries must be in by this Thursday, October 14th, at 6pm. 
• One entry per person.
• Entries must include your idea and a name with which we can identify you. No anonymous comments, please.
• Winner will be announced in this Friday’s Top Ten Links post.
• In the case of a repeated idea, the commenter who mentioned it first will receive the cookbook.
• No family or friends of CHG bloggers can enter. Sorry, Ma.

Hope that makes sense, sweet readers. Can’t wait to see your ideas, and don’t forget to log on later for Jaime’s newest Green Kitchen column!

Want to ask the interweb a question? Post one in the comment section, or write to Cheaphealthygood@gmail.com. Then, tune in next Tuesday for an answer/several answers from the good people of the World Wide Net.

Low-Fat Apple Coffee Cake: Get in My Mouth, Right Now

Today on Serious Eats: All-American Chili. Wonderfully autumn-y, and even better the next day.

As a New Yorker, I like to think that October is our reward for making it through August.

If you’ve ever been here in late summer, you know that the humidity, stench, and collective bad mood make our eighth month a special kind of hell. Yet, less than 31 days after it’s over, we’re compensated with weather straight out of a John Irving novel.

In October, the atmospheric moisture all but disappears. The temperatures drop from the high 400s into the über-pleasant upper 60s. The persistent aromas of bus fuel and body odor are replaced by … well, nothing. And let me tell you, Eau de Nothing in New York is about as good as you’re gonna get, except for that time the Jersey chemical factory leaked and the city reeked of maple syrup for two days.

Yeah, that was cool.

Anyway, October also means an entirely new season and style of cooking. Out are raw salads and grilled meats. In come long-simmering stews and cinnamon-spiked quick breads. Zucchini and tomatoes are making way for butternut squash and heavenly-when-cooked-correctly Brussels sprouts. And let’s not forget fall’s finest bounty: bag after bag of regional apples, purchased for a pittance. A pittance! Forsooth, I say!

I recently procured just such a sack of the medium-sized MacIntosh variety, which I find fairly solid for eating, saucing, and all-purpose baking. One by one, I turned them into snacks, applesauce, and Low-Fat Apple Coffee Cake from the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook. Which? Will make you drool on your culottes. It’s that good.

Words that describe this cake: warm, moist, sweet, light, fairly low-fat, apple-packed, crunch-esquey, cinnamonilicity, scrumptulescent.

Words that do not describe this cake: gross, stapler, Michael Vick.

Of course, if you should embark on this journey of delectable…ness, there are a few things to know:

1) You’re supposed to coat the baking pan with cooking spray. I ran out, but a thin swipe of Butter-flavored Crisco stood in nicely.

2) I substituted a real egg for egg substitute. Whoa. Meta.

3) As noted, I used MacIntoshes, but other baking apples may elicit even better results. So, experiment! (Except with Red Delicious. They’re pretty useless in cakes like this.)

Welcome, autumn. I could not be happier to eat, er, see you.

~~~

If you think this looks good, you’ll really like:

• Autumn Apple Salad
• Baked Apples
• Maple Walnut Apple Crisp

~~~

Low-Fat Apple Coffee Cake
Makes 10 servings.
Adapted from Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook.
NOTE: This looks like a lot of ingredients, but it’s not, I promise. A bunch are repeats. No fear!

2/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
A few dashes nutmeg
1-1/2 cups small-diced, peeled, cored apples (2 small) (I used MacIntosh)
1/4 cup egg (about 1 large egg)
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup chopped walnuts and/or pecans
1/4 cup applesauce (I used homemade)
1/4 cup packed light brown sugar
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon whole wheat flour
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 tablespoon coldish butter, cut up into small cubes
1/4 cup chopped walnuts and/or pecans

1) Preheat oven to 350°F. Coat a 9-inch round baking pan with either cooking spray or Crisco. Set aside.

2) In a small mixing bowl, combine 2/3 cup all-purpose flour, 1/2 cup whole wheat flour, baking soda, 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon, salt, and nutmeg with a whisk. Set aside.

3) In a medium mixing bowl, combine apples and egg. Add sugar, 1/4 cup chopped nuts, and applesauce. Pour in flour mixture. Stir to combine. Pour batter into your pan. It will be thick, but don’t worry. Flatten it out evenly with a spatula.

4) In a separate small bowl, combine brown sugar with remaining all-purpose flour, whole wheat flour, and cinnamon. Cut in butter, either with a fork or a pastry blender. It should look like crumbs when you’re done. Stir in remaining nuts. Sprinkle it over your batter.

5) Bake 30 or 35 minutes, or until the cake passes the toothpick test. Remove, let sit in the pan for 10 minutes, and serve to rousing applause. It’s seriously, really good.

Approximate Calories, Fat, Fiber, Protein, and Price Per Serving
205 calories, 5.8 g fat, 1.4 g fiber, 3.1 g protein, $0.23

Calculations
2/3 cup all-purpose flour: 303 calories, 0.8 g fat, 2.2 g fiber, 8.6 g protein, $0.07
1/2 cup whole wheat flour: 228 calories, 0.6 g fat, 1.7 g fiber, 6.5 g protein, $0.11
1 teaspoon baking soda: negligible calories, fat, fiber, and protein, $0.01
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon: 6 calories, 0.1 g fat, 1.2 g fiber, 0.1 g protein, $0.03
1/4 teaspoon salt: negligible calories, fat, fiber, and protein, $0.01
A few dashes nutmeg: negligible calories, fat, fiber, and protein, $0.01
1-1/2 cups small-diced, peeled, cored apples: 79 calories, 0.2 g fat, 2.1 g fiber, 0.4 g protein, $0.25
1/4 cup egg: 74 calories, 5 g fat, 0 g fiber, 6.3 g protein, $0.21
3/4 cup granulated sugar: 581 calories, 0 g fat, 0 g fiber, 0 g protein, $0.16
1/4 cup chopped walnuts and/or pecans: 190 calories, 19.4 g fat, 2.3 g fiber, 3.5 g protein: $0.50
1/4 cup applesauce: 26 calories, 0.1 g fat, 0.7 g fiber, 0.1 g protein, $0.13
1/4 cup packed light brown sugar: 207 calories, 0 g fat, 0 g fiber, 0 g protein, $0.15
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour: 29 calories, 0.1 g fat, 0.2 g fiber, 0.8 g protein, $0.01
1 tablespoon whole wheat flour: 29 calories, 0.1 g fat, 0.2 g fiber, 0.8 g protein, $0.02
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon: 3 calories, 0 g fat, 0.6 g fiber, 0 g protein, $0.02
1 tablespoon coldish butter: 102 calories, 11.5 g fat, 0 g fiber, 0.1 g protein, $0.06
1/4 cup chopped walnuts and/or pecans: 190 calories, 19.4 g fat, 2.3 g fiber, 3.5 g protein: $0.50
TOTAL: 2047 calories, 57.3 g fat, 13.5 g fiber, 30.7 g protein, $2.25
PER SERVING (TOTAL/10): 205 calories, 5.8 g fat, 1.4 g fiber, 3.1 g protein, $0.23

Saturday Throwback: Apple Hacks - 39 Incredible, Somewhat Inedible Uses for Extra Apples

Every Saturday, we post a piece from CHG's archives. This one comes from October 2007, which was nice when you think about it.

The U.S. produced more than 9,816,000,000 pounds of apples last year, or just about 28,854,000,000 individual pieces of fruit. That’s a lot of apples. Maybe too many to eat.

Fortunately, there are dozens - no, hundreds - wait, THOUSANDS of other uses for those delightful orbs of deliciousness, and CHG has 43 of ‘em right here.

1. Predict your romantic fortune. According to USApple.org, throwing an apple peel over your shoulder could reveal the identity of a boyfriend-or-girlfriend-to-be, since it, “would form the initial of your lover’s name.” I’m guessing X and Q don’t show up much.

2. Practice your pumpkin carving. Test-whittle a pumpkin pattern on its smaller, cheaper fruit cousin, and you’ll make fewer mistakes when it’s showtime.

3. Teach someone how to bunt. One of baseball’s most overlooked skills is also one of its most important, especially if you’re into squeeze plays. But bunting too hard is a surefire way to waste an out. At your team’s next practice, toss apples to your bunters-in-training. If the fruit gets smashed, the kids are using unnecessary force. If the apples fall and roll away unharmed, they’re halfway to Butlerville.

4. Play a Flexibility game. This is an easy, creative brain exercise revered by one of my favorite elementary school teachers. Place an apple in front of a few kids. Give them ten minutes to come up with as many non-food uses as possible. The winner gets the apple. (And gets to write a blog entry twenty years later about the many uses of apples.)

5. Practice magic. Nourish your inner Harry Blackstone with the good ol’ Orange to an Apple trick. (Scroll down for details.)

6. Shrink some heads. Both hideously effective and just plain hideous, shrunken apple heads are guaranteed to scare the beejeezus out of someone this Halloween. Fab Foods has instructions.

7. Exfoliate. Wikihow gives DIY instructions on a neat facial scrub. Make sure you’re not allergic before giving it a try. That would be bad.

8. Prevent every disease known to man. Apples’ health benefits are too numerous and mind-boggling, to list here, so I’ll let’s hand it over to the Apple lobby.

9. Teach a student driver how to accelerate and brake smoothly. The apple’s stable bottom and heavy top makes it a perfect balance tool. Place one on top of the driver’s car. In an unoccupied parking lot, have him speed up, speed down, and finally, brake. If the apple’s knocked off, he loses. If it stays on, it’s apple pie for all.

10. Soften brown sugar. Oh, Reader's Digest, you crafty minx. I had no idea it was possible to do this: “place an apple wedge in a self-sealing plastic bag with the chunk of hardened brown sugar. Tightly seal the bag and put it in a dry place for a day or two. Your sugar will once again be soft enough to use.” Now, if you could only improve that joke page…

11. Facial! According to the Washington Post, apples make people look pretty. Mix a grated one with a little honey and apply it to your face. Poof! Instant beauty. (Or at least, a very tasty visage.)

12. Stick ‘em in a vase. Pretending you’re on Trading Spaces has never been so easy. Grab a dozen Granny Smiths, pile them in a clear, tall container, and place strategically. Instant class for less than $4.

13. Make a stamp. Apples make great (albeit temporary) decorative stamps. Whether it’s cards, letters, or wrapping paper, the Washington Post claims all you have to do is, “[Slice] the fruit horizontally, exposing the inside star shape. Or create more elaborate designs -- hearts, moons, Hitchcock's profile -- with a small knife. Then stick a fork in the rounded side of the fruit, dip it in paint and press the stamp on paper.”

14. Host an apple tasting. From Lifehacker: Buy a dozen or so different apples, invite some friends over, and eat. Pair with wine, cheese, and/or chocolate for the ultimate in inexpensive luxury.

15. Ripen a tomato. Take five under-ripe tomatoes and one ripe apple. Place in a paper bag. Wait a few days. Marvel at the results.

16. Learn to Juggle. Over a couch or couch-like surface, preferably.

17. Treat a horse, rabbit, or turtle. People aren’t the only animals that dig a nice MacIntosh. Head to your nearest stable or petting zoo, and (with the permission of the owners) make a mammal and/or amphibian happy. Especially fun with kids. (Make sure to shred the fruit before feeding it to a turtle. Otherwise, Choke City.)

18. De-salt a dish. Oversalting is a ginormous problem for those of us who prefer our sodium intake on the tongue-withering side. Reader's Digest says, “When you find yourself getting heavy-handed with the saltshaker, simply drop a few apple (or potato) wedges in your pot. After cooking for another 10 minutes or so, remove the wedges -- along with the excess salt.” Chemistry at work!

19. Make stuff smell good. Huge props to Meredith at Like Merchant Ships on this one. She simmers a few apples along with various spicery, and her house ends up more fragrant than a Pillsbury factory. NICE. Instructions included in the link.

20. Build apple animals. Grab some toothpicks, a few gum drops, a handful of marshmallows and go to town. They make inspired, bizarrely fun holiday decorations, especially for Halloween and Thanksgiving.

21. Support some candles. I wish I’d thought of this one. Instead, Reader's Digest trumped me again. You rascally malcontents! “Use an apple corer to carve a hole three-quarters of the way down into a pair of large apples, insert a tall decorative candle into each hole, surround the apples with a few leaves, branches, or flowers.”

22. Create an apple-head doll. Hey! It’s a doll that, uh, ages. (Yay?) I’m not so sure how I feel about this one, but (once again) the Washington Post seems to think it’s a good idea: “Peel an apple and let it hang-dry for a couple of days, so that the fruit shrivels into an old-lady face. Decorate the face with wire (for granny glasses) and seeds (for beady eyes), and attach it to a small bottle for the body. Dress up.”

23. Save the cakes! Storing a cake with half an apple will keep it alive for days longer than its projected lifespan. See, the apple absorbs all the mold-breeding moisture, leaving the confection nearly as fresh as the day it was baked. (I would say, “yummo” here, but honestly, that word makes me homicidal.)

24. Juice up a chicken. Marcella Hazan does this, but with lemons. 1) Grab a roaster chicken. 2) Stick an apple up its butt. 3) Roast. 4) Enjoy your a dewy, drippingly moist bird. Reader’s Digest has more.

25. Bob for them suckers. Oh, it looks easy enough, but Bobbing for Apples is the "Stairway to Heaven" of Halloween party games: only the chosen ones are really good at it.

26. Teach math and/or the fundamentals of gravity. According to some studies, kids respond better to hands-on lessons than those learned by rote memory. Apples are good tools for teaching addition, subtraction, and basic Newtonian physics. (Plus, is there anything more entertaining than dropping fruit on childrens’ heads?)

27. Decorate a Christmas tree. String some garland or build your own ornaments. If you have a dog or particularly bizarre cat, just remember to place ‘em high up.

28. Practice your knife skills. Whether you’re peeling its skin, coring the center, or chopping it up into eraser-sized pieces, the apple is one of the few foods suited for both pairing and chef’s knives. Hone your technique on a few dozen Cortlands (and use the detritus in applesauce).

29. Jazz up a floral arrangement. For your next bouquet, think outside the flower box by adding one or two color-coordinated apples to the party. Meredith has a great example over here.

30. Kiss up to a teacher. If your wife, husband, sister, roommate, uncle, best friend, or second cousin by marriage twice removed is about to launch a teaching career, slip a Red Delicious into their lunchbox with a note. They’ll mist up in the cafeteria.

31. Devise a centerpiece. Stack ‘em, line ‘em up, or stick ‘em in a bowl – anyway you position them, apples are elegant, easy objets d’art in any mealtime setting.

32. Play Pass the Apple. A super-neat variation on the ol’ fashioned relay race, Pass the Apple involves each runner tucking a piece of fruit under his chin, then transferring it to the next runner’s chin without using his hands.

33. Carve a bird. Fruit sculpture is impressive and fairly easy when compared to other hobbies, like say, quantum physics. This apple bird tutorial will get you started.

34. Give a gift. Whether you’re canning or making Apple Pie in a Jar, every person on the face of the earth (except Kim Jong Il and other various psychopaths) loves receiving food for special occasions. Homemade apple products are an inexpensive way to please minds, hearts, and gaping maws.

35. Target practice. Do you shoot things at other things? Save money (and perhaps someone’s eye) by setting apples up as bulls-eyes. On the less-destructive side, they also make fabulous targets for practicing your curveball. (PLEASE BE CAREFUL.)

36. Paint. There’s a reason so many painters start on bowls of fruit – it’s a good way to learn fundamental shading and coloring. Unpack those brushes and get started, folks.

37. Design a wreath. At first, I pictured this as a dozen apples affixed to a straw circlet, rotting over my mom’s mantle. Ooo – wrong. FamilyCorner.com has a good example of how it should really be done.

38. Play apple toss. It’s like cornhole, but with buckets. And apples. And no bean bags. And … ah, just take a look.

39. Cook. This would be a pretty awful cooking blog if there was no actual cooking involved. So, BEHOLD the following light, relatively inexpensive recipes, garnered from Cooking Light, Food Network, Pick Your Own, All Recipes, and my Ma:
Apple Brown Betty
Apple Butter
Apple Cake

Apple Chutney
Apple Cobbler
Apple Crisp
Apple-Glazed Pork Loin Roast with Apple-Ham Stuffing
Apple Leather
Apple Martinis (they’re fat free, right?)
Apple Muffins
Apple Pie
Apple Salad
Apple Slaw
Apple Smoothie (scroll down)
Apple Strudel
Applesauce

Baked Apples
Dried Apples

Sources:

• Hocklander, Sony. "Applemania," Springfield News-Leader. 9/19/04.
• Reader's Digest
  http://www.rd.com/content/extraordinaryuses/extraordinary-uses-for-apples/
• US Apple Association
  http://usapple.org/index-c.cfm
• "With the arrival of apple season," Washington Post. 10/22/06
  

Top Ten Links of the Week: 10/1/10 - 10/7/10

Sweet readers! I would have submitted this sooner, by my cat has somewhat forcibly taken up permanent residence on my bosom. What’s the protocol for this?

That aside, we have a solid, fairly diverse link roundup today, including a late #1 entry that might just be the greatest thing in the world. Besides “Fart Barfunkel,” I mean.

1) The Kitchn/Just JENN: Look! A Star Wars Theme Party
If the Death Star watermelon doesn’t reel you in, the Han-Solo-trapped-in-carbonite-jello will snag you for sure. Don’t miss the Leia cupcakes or the Sarnac Dip, either, if you know what’s good for you, Luke. Er, I mean, reader.

2) Eating Rules: October Unprocessed
Blogger Andrew Wilder is going 31 days without eating an iota of processed food. How he’ll handle Halloween, I have no idea (Et tu, mini Snickers?), but I like his moxy. And his updates. He’s already a week in, but feel free to join him in the challenge.

3) Jezebel: Healthy Living Blogs Maybe Not So Healthy
Are food and exercise blogs helping others live healthier, or encouraging extreme eating and exercising? A recent Marie Claire article came out firmly in the latter’s corner, but Jez makes good points on both sides. Promoting disordered diets is something we really try to steer clear of here, while still acknowledging that occasionally, folks might want to drop a few pounds. I hope that’s always clear. If not – crap – please let me know a.s.a.p.

4) Washington Post: Public Health Advocates Worry that Dietary Advice Will Get Lost in Translation
The government is revising its dietary guidelines this year, and many are looking at the new advice as a trial, testing whether the Obama administration is serious about the Let’s Move initiative. Because in the past? The feds have kinda been talking out the sides of their mouths on this one.

5) New York Times: After Growth, Fortunes Turn for Monsanto
Holy moly. Monsanto’s stock dropped 42% since January. Not only are farmers growing fewer specific crops than the company projected, but it’s being outpriced by Chinese competitors and out-PR’d by everybody else. Yowza.

6) HuffPo/Eating well: Food Labels That Lie
Are “natural,” “organic,” and “local” all they’re cracked up to be? You can probably guess the answer, but this piece includes some good explanations as to why.

7) SF Gate: Whole wheat, but not the whole story
Wondering how to choose the best supermarket bread? From Marion Nestle: “Inspect labels to make sure the first ingredient is whole grain, the total number of ingredients is small and devoid of unpronounceable chemicals, the fiber content is at least 2 grams per 1-ounce serving and the label says 100 percent whole wheat.” Word.

8) ReadyMade: Stop Wasting Food
We’ve seen these kind of food saving tips before, but never all together or put so well. Scroll down a little to find ‘em.

9) Money Saving Mom: Are Food Savers Worth the Money?
Speaking of saving food ... the bags are pricey, but if you eat a lot of meat and/or hunt for your dinner,  readers say the vacu-pack machine is well worth the investment.

10) Culinate: The Beauty of the Immersion Blender
A.K.A., Ode to the KitchenAid Stick. Husband Man and I received one for our shower, and it has saved my sanity, not to mention quite a few sleeveless tees.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Consumerist: Hide Lunch from Office Thieves in Healthy Meal Boxes
Want co-workers to lay off your PB&J? Stick it in a Lean Cuisine box. Oddly, people tend not to touch those.

Coupon Sherpa: 20 Things it’s Cheaper to Buy Than DIY
Computers are a given, but homemade olive oil might also be a tad more time-consuming than necessary.

Hulu: Good Eats
Full episodes for free! Go see!

Neatorama: Bacon Costume
Unpictured: His wife, Mrs. Eggs.

Serious Eats: Paula Deen to Launch Line of Fresh Fruits and Vegetables
Wait. Is butter a vegetable?

The Stir: Anatomy of a Chicken Nugget
No! Why? Ack. Ew ew ew ew ew.

Surviving and Thriving: Why you need renter’s insurance
My friend D’s apartment was broken into a few years ago. The thief took his laptop, his comb, and his copy of Cool as Ice. (No joke.) If you treasure your own copy of Vanilla Ice's acting debut, renter's insurance is the way to go.

AND ALSO

The Oatmeal: Working from Home
Yep. This about sums it up. Click on the link to see the rest of the comic.

Thank you so much for visiting Cheap Healthy Good! (We appreciate it muchly). If you’d like to further support CHG, subscribe to our RSS feed! Or become a Facebook friend! Or check out our Twitter! Or buy something inexpensive, yet fulfilling via that Amazon store (on the left)! Bookmarking sites and links are nice, too. Viva la France!

Veggie Might: As for Me and My House, We Will Serve the Veggies

Written by the fabulous Leigh, Veggie Might is a weekly Thursday column about all things Vegetarian.

My Fair Readers, this just in: America hates veggies! The Center for Disease Control released the data and the New York Times reported it. Also, the sky is falling.

Credit: NatalieMaynor.

Why are only 26.3% of our fellow Americans eating the recommended three or more vegetable servings a day? A slightly more encouraging 32.5% of us are eating two or more fruit servings, but still. That’s less than a third.

This does not compute. Farmers markets and local, seasonal cooking are all the rage; Michelle Obama is hot on the case with her victory garden and Let’s Move! initiative, and U.S. Dept. of Agriculture’s has implemented programs such as Know Your Farmer, Know Your Food. What’s not clicking, America?

Access is a likely culprit; convenience is another. Intimidation and taste are ties for third.

We’ve talked about access before. Food deserts and the high cost of produce send people right for the Hot Pockets. But right next to the Hot Pockets (in your grocer’s freezer) is frozen veg, and that’s the better choice every time.

Luckily, access to fresh produce is getting better. Farmers markets are cropping up (pardon the pun) in underserved areas and, more and more frequently, they accept food stamps and WIC vouchers, but it’s hard to get the word out.

Surprisingly, the CDC data doesn’t show much difference in our vegetable eating habits across income levels, particularly when it comes to fruit. The spread is about 8% for vegetables, while the lowest and highest income brackets are only separated by .7% for fruit, with the middle group coming in .8% below the low bracket.

According to the New York Times article, a market research company, NDP Group, has recently released it’s annual report “Eating Patterns in America.” It’s findings were similar to those of the CDC, but went further into the whys.

“‘The moment you have something fresh you have to schedule your life around using it,’ [Harry] Balzer [analyst for NDP] said.

In the wrong hands, vegetables can taste terrible. And compared with a lot of food at the supermarket, they’re a relatively expensive way to fill a belly.

‘Before we want health, we want taste, we want convenience and we want low cost,’ Mr. Balzer said.”

I know it’s not easy, but the time and financial savings of convenience food is all in the perception. Before we started dating, my Charming Boyfriend ate pizza four out of seven nights at week. Not because he can’t cook, but because he lived upstairs from a pizza joint. In the nine months, we’ve been together--and cooking with lots of seasonal vegetables--he’s lost 10 pounds and seen a real difference in his bank account. Those veggies are easy to sneak in to his favorites--even pizza.

Veggies seem inconvenient because there is a perception that they take ages to prepare. But it’s not true! Just ask Jennifer Rubell, the vegetable butcher. She, along with her friend and mentor Mario Batali, is on a mission to eliminate intimidation and exorcise childhood trauma of bad-tasting veg.

At Eataly, Batali’s Italian-style marketplace in New York City, Rubell shows chops, peels, and advised customers on the best ways to use veggies at home, much like regular butcher would for meat.

“‘The idea is to remove any obstacle from people cooking at home. We’ll trim your beans...we’ll clean your mushrooms,’ says Batali. The whole stand is more or less to give you the information to disarm the vegetable to make it easier to cook. Like anything can be sautéed or even for that matter eaten raw. You can take almost any of the vegetables in this whole area and shave them thin enough and dress them with a little extra virgin olive oil and they’re so good.’”

Rubell hopes the job catches on too. “‘I have a fantasy that people will go into their supermarkets all over America and say let me be a vegetable butcher for a week and see if you sell more vegetables. See if your customers are happier and then it could be a new profession in America.’” Sign me up.

So readers, how do you fit in your fruits and veggies? Do you beat the national average? Take the CDC questionnaire and find out.

The CDC Fruit and Vegetable Consumption Questionnaire
Get out your No. 2 pencils and get ready to do some math. Sample responses are as follows: twice a week, three times a month, ten times a year. Go!

1. How often do you drink fruit juices such as orange, grapefruit, or tomato?
2. Not counting juice, how often do you eat fruit?
3. How often do you eat green salad?
4. How often do you eat potatoes, not including French fries, fried potatoes, or potato chips?
5. How often do you eat carrots?
6. Not counting carrots, potatoes, or salad, how many servings of vegetables do you usually eat?

How to calculate your daily fruit and veg intake: divide by 7 for weekly frequencies, 30 for monthly frequencies, and 365 for yearly frequencies. Add the answers to questions 1-2 for daily consumption of fruit and the answers to questions 3-6 for vegetables.

Okay, so it’s not as fun as the Cosmo Quiz, but it’s much more useful. Let us know your results in the comments. Sing it, choir.

~~~

If you dug this article, you may also dig:

• A Confession and A Prayer to Remain Tailless
• Food Money Matters: Why Eating Healthy Doesn’t Have to Be Expensive
• I Want to Be a Tofu Butcher